Tag Archives: parenting styles

Mums and Mornings: Endless ‘To Do’ Lists for Mums!

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The New Year is Here…Back to School, Work, and Our Daily Routines…

Child Safety using The Internet

 

Well, it’s 2018 already and before we know it Valentine’s day is here… Then Easter…the whole cycle just continues and that’s life!

What new year resolutions have you made? One of the mums in the PTA  ( Parent Teacher Associations) group said that at the beginning of the school year she had resolved that the kids would get to school on time, make sure they eat breakfast, with most of the school uniform on, with at least some of the kit they needed, without her yelling at the kids…

Does that resonate with any other mums?

There are so many things that have to be accomplished, with very definite time pressures, which make mornings for mums a real flashpoint and it’s definitely worse if mornings are not your best time. I can do anything late at night …but not early in the morning!

Whether the journey is made on foot, bike, scooter, car or public transport, one step wrong now can put the whole day out for everyone…..  managing to do lists appointments the lot is a full-time job every day for mums with kids…

Help for Mums Parenting

Here are some tips to help…

  1. Learn to Become a time Realist and Manage your Time Properly

Rather than a time optimist! Take some time, by yourself, to work out how long it really takes to prepare bowls of cereal, butter slices of toast, pour milk or juices and make a strong cup of tea or coffee….

And mop up a couple of spills, feed the cat, prepare the lunch boxes, pack the reading folder, sign the form trip slip, as well as have a shower, get yourself and them dressed, find your hairbrush, toothbrush, any other brush, and your keys….

It can be quite illuminating – my guess of 60 minutes was more than 50% wrong. No wonder I wasn’t making it out in time and felt like a failure every morning. I was trying to achieve the impossible because I hadn’t allowed the right amount of time!

If you have a child under two, three, four, ten, factor in some contingency time for poo-ey nappies or meltdowns just at the point of departure. If you’re early you can always take your time counting the cracks in the pavement or practising tables!

  1. Prepare, Prepare, Prepare which smooths the Processes…

There is one great thing about the journey to nursery or school – it happens at the same time, in the same way every day for several weeks! When we continue to do the same thing over and over again desperately hoping for a different outcome, it has been called insanity. So if getting ready each morning isn’t working for you, don’t get ready in the morning. Get ready the night before.

With the help of your children, pack school bags, lay out uniform or clothes, empty the dishwasher and lay the breakfast table.

You can make it fun – time yourselves, do it to music, treat yourselves afterwards. Get practical – what do you all need in order to do this job well? More shirts? A place to keep shoes? A set of toothbrushes or hairbrushes downstairs? An emergency something somewhere?

The best advice I ever took and the least popular advice I give is to get up 15-30 minutes earlier than your children so that you can get yourself ready before you need to focus on them. Because you do need to focus on them, but in a positive way, not nagging them. More on that below.

  1. Know Who, What, When and Where

Do you spend time most mornings ‘discussing’ who sits where in the car, who goes out of the front door first, who carries which bag, who holds whose hands? Ever been forced to run after a child who has simply run or scooted ahead, while leaving another behind? Before it happens again, sit down and start a positive discussion with the children about what needs to happen, and ask them how it could work.

Even young children come up with surprisingly useful, relevant and fun ideas. And they love being asked – it makes them feel more in charge of their own life. And then let them take responsibility for recording the details by writing down/ illustrating the plan – it doesn’t matter what it looks like.

It matters that they buy into it.

Busy Mums

  1.  Always Focus on the Positives

It’s so easy to notice what’s going wrong in the course of the morning preparations. How could you fail to see that your kids are still in their pyjamas let alone beds un-made and teeth un-brushed with 15 minutes to go!

Don’t beat yourself up if you’ve been pointing out all these deficits to your children. In other words, criticising.

Human beings have evolved to notice the negatives –it’s what kept us safe when we needed to pay attention to predators. But now it’s not very useful when we’re trying to motivate our young to get a move on.

What is much more motivating is to notice what they are doing right. Well, what are they doing right I hear you ask?

Well, you might have to look for quite small things, to begin with but when you focus on something you get more of it so pointing out small examples of good behaviour leads to bigger examples. .”

Some families will use a pasta jar to visually record these small acts of good behaviour. One pasta piece (or other tokens) goes in the jar for every good behaviour (and none come out). We recommend a team jar for all the children to encourage collaboration.

If they help each other get ready they can earn extra pasta. Make sure the jar fills up quickly and when it is full do a fun activity together.

  1. Understand your child

You will be so much more effective if your preparations take into account your child’s temperament. If you have a child who doesn’t transition well from one person, place or activity to another then he will need more time, more preparation and more encouragement than a more flexible child.

Wishing he were different won’t make your mornings any easier and will make him feel like a bad person, or at least a difficult one. Your child isn’t a problem, although he may be having a problem. You can help with that.

Parenting Styles

It will ease your frustrations so much if you realise that your child’s agenda is just as important to him as yours is to you. We can help our children move away from what they want to do and take on our agenda but it will need lots of descriptive praise and some empathy.

  1. Empathise and be Patient

Acknowledge how it is for your child if he’s not a morning person/would rather be reading/playing with Lego/staying in bed. Or if he isn’t really into school right now. Just letting your child know that you understand how she feels is often enough for her to let go her resistance.

We’re sure these 6 tips will help your preparations go more smoothly. Enjoy your mornings.

Source: Parent Practice ( Revised)


Parenting Methods

4 Parenting Styles: Which Parent are You?

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What Type of Parenting Styles are Best for My Child…

Parenting Styles

Apply Parenting Styles to Raise Balanced Happy Children…

Most parents learn off the bat their own parenting styles naturally without really identifying what methods they are using to raise their children.  It’s exciting having kids of your own and a huge responsibility while also being stressful because as a parent you certainly want everything of the best for your kids. In many instances and situations parents are worried about methods of disciplining and teaching children the right way fearing they may be making mistakes, or in hindsight if your child has grown up rebellious or a real spoilt brat parents will wonder where they went wrong. In this article we are going to take a look at some parenting styles and you can identify what type of parent you are and if you like use a balanced combination of parenting styles to bring up a healthy happy child.

What are Parenting Styles?

Simply explained parenting styles are the psychological methods parents use to raise their children, and because we are all different no two parents will have the exact same parenting methods either.  You bring up your child the way you think is right teaching them your ways of interacting with others, your unique ways of keeping them safe, your unique ways of keeping children disciplined. Once you understand what style you are applying perhaps you may realize it needs to be adjusted a little to nurture a loving balanced relationship with your children…

Let’s examine the basic Parenting Styles to  help you realize in what style you are leaning towards: 

The Authoritarian Parent.

If you are a firm strict parent with high expectations for your children, which you started applying to them as soon as they were able to understand you fit into this category. Although this parenting style has the benefit of making children grow up as strong individuals it can also put the child under extreme pressure to succeed and when they struggle, children may feel inadequate and failures. Strict parent’s eng forcing their authority over everything a child does will have an obedient child but there is more often than not a lack of communication and children will not have a happy balanced childhood in many cases because they live in fear of letting parents down.

Communicating with Your Children

 

Balanced Authoritative Flexible

Parenting styles where children are subject to lots of rules that you as a parent set is a similar style to that we have talked about above but a little better because there are lines of communication open.  Parents will explain to children why these rules have been set and when a child crosses boundary disciplines is applied but after explaining to the child why the measures have been implemented. In this parenting style there are still expectations set for children by parents, but because there is some flexibility the child will not feel under so much pressure.

Parents using this style of parenting have more balanced children that are happier compared with the authoritarian parenting style, with parents only being stern and unforgiving when their rules have been broken.

Communicating with Your Children

The Neglectful Parent Style.

Children that are raised under neglectful parenting styles do not have strong loving bonds with parents. Although children are provided with the necessities they need from food shelter water and education, parents do not get involved in any issues and activities of their kids.

Children that are reared under neglectful parenting methods learn to fight their own battles, and will know that it is a waste of time approaching parents for any assistance. Children may be fiercely independent, but also lonely, and can become rebellious of any authority that is imposed on them which can turn out to be a problem in school and college years.

Children parenting styles

 

Indulgent Parenting Styles.

Of course indulgent parenting styles are the most preferred style by children but the result is children that will always expect things to go their way, and they become spoilt and unruly when it doesn’t throwing tantrums which frustrate the parent until they give in to keep the peace. In this parenting style parents are involved in all children’s activities, are lenient when any rules are broken, and they will not have the necessary balanced discipline or independence in their lives to fight their own battles.

Parents that go out of their way to make children happy using indulgent parenting methods are the most common, but as the child grows up difficulties will arise with discipline and the child and parent may find themselves in difficult situations when boundaries have been crossed. Your parenting styles will depend on you when raising your child but if you want to have a warm loving relationship with children it is a sensible decision to have a balance of all these parenting styles.

You want your children to grow up healthy independent and balanced individuals only wanting everything of the best for them so consider a healthy balance in parenting styles for the best results…

Parenting tips